did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
