when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
