You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
