PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
