It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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