nut hugger
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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