i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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