party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize