Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
