Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
