Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
