I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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