I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
