Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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