Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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