It was confusing and full of hummus
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you will always have a special place in my vag
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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