Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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