no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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