I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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