why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
