Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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