At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We're too hungover to prance.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
