His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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