I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
