you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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