Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
