why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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