Porn is love you can see.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
