BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
