meet me or not, i'm out of control
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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