I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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