ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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