so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
