next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
