Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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