I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
