just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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