No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize