i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We had sex on a dog bed..
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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