If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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