Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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