Can Purell be used as lube?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize