Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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