were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
