i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dick very happy bro
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
