I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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