Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize