that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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