Im at strip club and am horny
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
