All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
