Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize