he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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