finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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