Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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